Long ago, I was but a boy… a young boy… a boy whose own fourteen years of illness, public humiliation and mockery had formed a stubborn soul. I had to attend our weekly Catholic Mass on Sundays. This was an obligation so we were told by our priests… these ordained holy men of God… supposedly men blessed with humble hearts and an abundance of God’s infinite love, Divine Mercy and were blessed with a great depth of goodness. At fourteen, far too understanding of injustice, I told our Lord that something about His Gospel made no sense to me! How could our God of goodness, mercy and love permit so much evil, human suffering and injustice?
At fourteen I would skip a class at my Catholic boys high school and meet in our little school chapel and spend that hour asking a future priest all of my hard complex and profound questions about God, human nature and the spiritual life. At fourteen I did not have any such knowledge, little alone the correct vocabulary or details needed to pursue and achieve the spiritual wisdom I so long ago desired. Only Life itself can provide one’s heart, soul, mind and spirit with such Divinely inspired spiritual maturity. And suffering is a requirement! This makes good solid spiritual sense since there could never have been salvation through the Risen Christ had He not experienced the suffering of the Cross. At fourteen I could never have expressed this profound spiritual truth.
Yet at fourteen I wondered aloud and searched for what only God can reveal through other more astute spiritual teachers. It was at that young age that I first tried to pray. It took years for me to experience and then, to slowly grasp the reality that prayer is in fact a loving language of the human heart. My words, “Pray and you will see Gid” came not from some thick spirituality book or academic lecture hall or via studies. No. Rather my realization about prayer being the language of love, came from the countless dark nights when human brokenness thrust unjust suffering my way. At fourteen God just did not seem to make sense.
Flash forward to today, some 53 years later. I have run the race, gone the extra mile, spent my lifetime in pursuit of that greater fullness of our Lord’s presence in my daily life.
But now, my vocation as priest is threatened by powerful Church leaders. I understand the WHY! I do! Really I do understand. My Archbishop knows I fully intend to out him and other current and past Roman Catholic bishops and priests as men who are now, or were in their earlier years, promiscuous sexual predators or most often active homosexuals who most often tragically molested raped and assaulted the naked bodies of vulnerable, trusting and naive boys and young men. Also girls and women were sexually abused by Catholic priests.Tragically none of this has changed.
Today I look to my own Archbishop and his Episcopal cohort, the Archbishop of Baltimore. How do these two Catholic bishops sleep! Sexual abuse continues. Their decades of denials, cover up and outright lies to Catholics and the public at large should awaken and alert law enforcement authorities State and Federal Attorneys General and politicians. But they say little, far too little. There are never any prosecutions, trials, convictions and severe sentences imposed on our American Roman Catholic bishops. Why? Are they permitted to rape or cover up clerical rapes? Are they above our laws? They appear to get a legal pass!
In some ways, I wish I was again a mere, naive and innocent fourteen year old Catholic boy. I wish I had not listened and watch mostly mens lives bent, broken and destroyed by their being raped as altar boys or seminarians. Even their lived ones witnessed these clerical sexual abuse victims having their spirits and hearts broken , their lives impacted and ultimately destroyed. Todays sexually promiscuous priests and bishops are the foxes in the henhouse.
Last week I was refused my paycheck. This of course is not exactly shocking. My homosexual Cardinal of Washington has already asked Rome to dismiss me from priesthood because he claims I am disobedient. I am not disobedient! We have spoken. He destroys men!s lives. I have witnessed him destroy the good names of priests. Rather I have been very frank to his face and told him I will not be coerced by his own abuse of the powers he holds as my bishop.
Since the 1970s my Archbishop has been a champion protector among our sexually promiscuous American priests and bishops. In my letter sent in late May 2023, I asked him if he had ever lied down and made love with another homosexual man? I asked because I received a phone call informing me that this Cardinal, Wilton Gregory had been known as the “African Queen” when he was the Archbishop of Atlanta. So I wrote and asked him if this was true? That was around May 30,2023. I have yet to hear back from Archbishop Gregory. Nonetheless his silence has spoken.
I wish I could go back to being a 14 year old who had no such knowledge. But none of us can go back. Today I ask our Lord to bring greater Faith, greater Hope and greater blessed Love back here to our local Church. One day God’s will shall prevail. But it is not today, will not be tomorrow or in the foreseeable future. But the goodness of God shall prevail over these very bright,,articulate and impressive ordained harlots.
I ask all peoples to pray for goodness to prevail over the damning evils already wrought by wicked ordained men. May each and all people always understand that each and every human being has a role to play in the restoration of goodness in the world today. I am no longer blessed with the innocence of a 14 year old boy. And this is okay with me. As I am forced by pompous ordained evil sexual predators and facilitators, I already trust that our good Lord shall continue to walk at my side.
When I fall, when darkness envelopes my heart, mind soul or spirit; in moments when unjust events again prevail… I still believe that our Good Shepherd shall pick me up and carry me over the burning embers, through sheer darkness, and into the New Day…a time of greater Divine goodness, mercy and justice. Please pray for me but also for all the thousands of good priests whose true heartfelt desires are to imitate Christ and to humbly serve God by serving our brothers and sisters. AMEN.